


The Azure Bullet

by ashitaka



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Bounty Hunters, Danger, Deep Throating, Eventual Smut, Hunted, Kissing, M/M, Protective Steve Rogers, Sharing Body Heat, Smut, Top Steve Rogers, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, bucky getting shot, the blue bullet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-03 22:09:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11541414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashitaka/pseuds/ashitaka
Summary: A bunch of bounty hunters/soldiers are trying to capture the Winter Soldier for unknown reasons. Bucky gets shot by a so-called "Blue Bullet", that has connections with the serum that made Steve Rogers, the Super Soldier.Bucky struggles with his past and later also with his body...





	1. Hunted

**Author's Note:**

> Notes at the end.

He rushed down the small alley; pulse high and heavy breathing.

Bucky looked ahead of himself, seeing the street at the end of the dark alley. About only 10 meters away. 

He held his breath - legs pumping and screaming in pain as he increased his speed. 

They were hunting him, but that wasn’t something outrageous. He was used to this from back in Russia - being hunted down by Hydra soldiers and such, but back in Brooklyn, it felt wrong, wrong to be running away. 

He finally made it through the alley, exposing himself unintentionally and running straight into enemy hand. Aware for the sudden danger, he immediately pulled back and evaded the two fired shots that hit by his feet.

~Shit~ His lips breathed. 

He looked over his shoulder, focusing his eyes on the building beside him.

A person hid on the rooftop, loading a rifle again. Bucky set off and ran fast across the street to the next alley. He surely wasn't prepared - despite his training - for this sudden attack whilst he was simply out this morning for buying some breakfast for Steve at home in bed. 

In the small street, he pulled himself up a step ladder and crawled up reaching the rooftop. On the top he continued his run, making a spontaneous route to secure a better escape. 

He jumped over different obstacles and got rid of some pursuers. But they were still close on him, 5 or 6 people. The buildings were close to each other, so Bucky could jump across - or for Bucky’s circumstances.

Ahead of himself, there were three men on the grey building, each having a 9mm handgun and different assault rifles. Taking a short look behind, Bucky sat off the edge and jumped between the two buildings. 

Behind him there were another 2 soldiers, the short look had made Bucky certain about jumping across, whereas that was his only opportunity for this situation.

Coming across and taking the landing with a parkour roll, Bucky was met with a fist fight and strong build soldiers. Despite the situation, Bucky had it rather easy with fighting the soldiers. They were mid-trained soldier, often open in their movements and slow at reacting in close combat, so it was easy to place hits. Maybe they were more used to fight with guns than fists, which continually made him wonder what their actual goal was by doing this. 

But suddenly he got pulled back by a huge blow. A moment later he heard a loud gunshot before banging the back of his head down the ground. 

Bucky did not move a muscle. His head was spinning. It felt like each of the synapses in his head were exploding. 

He tried to get up, but his right arm - his real arm - hung limp. 

Bucky carefully touched his right arm with his metal fingers. It was almost completely numb, only the fingertips could somehow move a bit like normal. 

He pushed himself backwards using his legs, coming against the wall behind him and sat there to recover for a few minutes. 

The medicine had a strong effect on his body, despite only taking 2 pills earlier that morning. 

He shook his head and tried again to move his arm. No response. It hurt and keep bleeding from the dark red hole in his shoulder where he had been shot. He got up and looked around to get a better view of the surroundings. 

He secured the soldiers that laid on the ground. It was almost directly after the last one had gone down, that he was shot. It had been his own damn fault not to pay attention to his surroundings and mainly focus on himself. The shot had taken him by surprise and his thoughts were then suppressed by the immense pain through his body; that surely had snatched him back to reality. 

Bucky left the rooftops to go on lower ground where he may be out of sight from his pursuers. It was starting to get darker and it seemed more realistic for Bucky to find a place to crash than wandering around.

In an industrial area, he found a small house or room that seemed left behind. For the night it was good enough for him, thinking back, he was used to even worse. 

Bucky leaned his back against the concrete wall inside the house and breathed out a tired sigh. He was exhausted. Not only physical but also mentally. The whole thing had been a backfire which only had lead him at a zero point again. 

After Steve had found him, he had agreed with himself not to depend on the Winter Soldier anymore. He wanted to forget all of the things that had happened to him while he was under Hydra’s command. 

All the things he did, all the people he had hurt, he wanted to forget it; but it’s hard to forget, so Steve had often stayed awake, cuddling him for behind and calming him down by his voice until he fell asleep. 

Now all alone in this room, he felt lonely and missed his best friend. He had always shared a bond with him, before the war when they still were teenagers and now after the part with HYDRA, fighting and later recognizing Steve among them. It felt unreal to suddenly have a “normal life” with his best friend again. It was like an illusion of perfection, and suddenly hitting reality, Bucky wished it hadn’t been one. But Bucky couldn’t change the fact that he was, or maybe still is the ghost most know as the Winter Soldier.

Laying behind his worries like always, he sat down, resting his back against the wall. The pain had slowed started to fade as he could relax again, and with the change, he would try to least get a bit of sleep tonight. He curled his knees up and rested his arms on them. Pushing away the slowly creeping worries in the back of his head, he tilted his head down, resting his forehead on his arms and closing his eyes.

The morning came, but not as fast as Bucky had wanted. It had been hard to sleep well, but he didn’t spend that much worrying about it.

He left the building without a second thought of the later consequences. His arm still hurting from the shot, he bent it slowly and tried to relax the exhausted muscle.

The motion made his body shiver, feeling the pull of the arm slowly responding to his movements. The small apartment, which had been his for the last 14 hours, was rather peculiarly located. 

The old factory underneath made the small apartment - or whatever it was - look like the architect was underqualified.

One benefit, however, was that it wasn’t like anyone would suddenly bash through the wall and be surprised by some stranger in their house. 

The factory was close to the inner town in the south. He wondered why this building had been not used for so long? Maybe the owner had gone bankrupt some years back and had to close down the factory. For now, at least, it had been a big help for him as no one had been there to bother him. 

Knowing his position a bit better, he could easier organize where to go next. Well, he still had to get through the town unseen, and then explain Steve why he had been gone since yesterday morning. Bucky very much doubted that Steve would be happy to see him like this, especially after running away like last time - which only made things worse for two of them. 

Bucky didn’t want to a bigger burden on Steve’s shoulders than he already felt since things weren’t as easier as they were when the two of them were teenagers. It made him feel twisted, confused by not really knowing what was going on inside. But there was something he felt often whenever Steve was around.

It felt like an endless urge in his body, craving something that he shouldn’t and making his mind twist in two different directions. That urging pain in his chest only grew wider he watched Steve; home sitting on the couch drawing or him laying in the bed sleeping peacefully, it was always the same whatever he was doing. It was almost unbearable. He couldn’t really explain why, but the warmth from Steve’s touch, the strong arms hugging him tightly, it brought him comfort.

In his arms, Bucky always felt safe and home. 

Bucky shook his head and blurted out his thoughts, per usual, until he is interrupted the picking, kicking, little thing in the back of his head called “Steve”, which keeps coming back up inside his head.

He walked down the building’s fire-exit escape and across the street and heading for the crowded areas where he could perhaps blend in and maybe, just maybe, get home unseen and alive. Now, almost after a year not being the Fist of Hydra, it had made him more aware towards the actual dangers that he often unintentionally found himself tied up in.

He had changed his way of fighting, hoping to avoid possible fights with strangers or in this case bounty hunters. His hard and frozen core was slowly starting to break away and most of that was because of Steve. 

It wasn’t the Winter Soldier’s fight anymore; it was Bucky, the soldier that had fought at Captain America side - his best friend. Bucky felt like he still was there, somewhere inside his body and that Steve may be the key to getting him back.

Among the crowds of people, Bucky walked, hiding face and hair underneath his cap and pullover hoodie. 

To admit, he walked rather slow, but people didn’t seem to notice - a good thing for his situation. He tucked his fingers in the thin blue sweater, pulling it down in his escape while trying to get a better grip so that his arm wouldn’t move as much while walking. The bleeding had mostly stopped, but mainly was it the pain that bothered Bucky. 

His body had almost forgotten this kind of pain, all the pain he had been through in Hydra felt distant, but his mind couldn’t easily forget it like that. The shot had come like an electric shock to his body, suddenly to be under attack again, but after a while, even his body was used to it again. 

The dark, brown coloured jacket he was wearing, covered the blood from his shoulder, so for Bucky it seemed safe to go among people like this. 

The weather was rather nice that morning and made the situation a little more distant for Bucky than it actually should. He felt a shiver run down his spine and the known, throbbing feeling, had started again. 

It went worse for every minute that went on. He bit his lower lip, swallowing the pain, shivers and cold sweat running down his spine, and meanwhile, he mentally tried to focus on moving his feet forward. He throughs went - yet again - back to Hydra, and their experimenting on his body. 

The blue bullet. 

Bucky’s mind was slightly blurred, but that didn’t stop the picture of the bullet popping up in his head over and over. Could they have shot him with one of them? Was that the explanation for this weird feeling in his body? But since when did Hydra sell high science technology on the black marked? Or had Hydra hired bounty hunters to catch him, and therefore used the bullet? 

Bucky wondered if that even could be an explanation for this? Maybe his body was just reacting to the blood lost and therefore he felt this weak, but that couldn’t be possible, right !? 

His body had never reacted like this, being weak and such..? Bucky’s thoughts stopped for a moment. What was that bullet again?   
If he remembered right, Hydra had worked on some weapons that could weaken Captain America to a point where his serum no longer held any effect. But couldn’t that really be true? 

The considerations had no end, and Bucky didn’t seem to realise the two hunters slowly catching up on him. They were clothed normal, and like that, they didn’t seem any different than other people on the street. Bucky snatched his head up and was back in reality, but frankly, it was too late. 

On each side of him, the two larger men pushed him together by the shoulders and Bucky snatched as the hard shove made his wounded shoulder throb hard. Bucky looked ahead of himself and recognized the area. Not few blocks ahead Steve and his apartment were placed. He must have wandered in his throughs for more than 8 or 9 blocks, but didn’t change his situation right now.

The two men had shoved him down a dark alley with no escaping route. Out of sight, they quickly forced him to the ground, using his wounded shoulder as a point of origin. He panted - air leaving his lungs, as the largest of them pressed his shin hard against Bucky’s fleshed scapula. 

He bit hard on his lower lip, swallowing the immense pain and the stifled groan from his throat. 

The man tugged Bucky’s arms behind his back, not bothered by Bucky’s low growls and tied them dense together. The only strength left in Bucky was his left - his Hydra-made, vibranium arm - and it pissed him off. It really did, the whole damned situation did. 

Why couldn’t they just leave him alone! 

The anger gave him a bust and in a fast motion, he swung himself around on the ground - ignoring the pain - and taking the two men by surprise. 

The large man was off him in a split second, and Bucky had the upper hand for a short period. Bucky ripped the rope apart and attack the large man, which still was a bit surprised by the sudden change of action. Bucky went straight for him, only using his metal arm and focusing on his opponent's movement. 

He clung his fingers together in one hard fist and pulled his arm backwards for a powerful hit. The other only had seconds to react, Bucky letting the Winter Soldier take control, they stood no chance. It took a hit in the face and a quick kick in the side, then he was down. 

But then suddenly Bucky felt the backfire of his actions and his body started shake intensely. It hit him harder than expected, and his eyes started blurring. He gasped and fell to the ground, barely taking off with his metal arm. Sweat ran down his face and he couldn’t stop gasping and panting for air. 

The bullet. 

His eyes closed forcefully and Bucky had yet again lost the control over his body...


	2. Heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the sequel of "the azure bullet".  
> Short: a needy Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took quite a long time for me to get done, and I apologize for that! But I hope you all can see over it and enjoy the chapter:) 
> 
> All thanks goes to fabulous-n-cynical since he has helped me a lot, and is a big part for why I have written this chapter. So go check out his stories, they are amazing! :D

Bucky heard a rattling sound and slowly opened his eyes. He was laying on the ground in a small alley and he could hear people talking nearby. 

With his still half blurred eyesight, Bucky tried to get a look at his surroundings and seemed to see a blond, tall man coming his way. 

He fell unconscious again but could feel a pair of strong arms pick him up and walking with him. 

The body was warm against his and he pulled himself closer to it. First, now it appeared to Bucky’s brain that he was being taken away, but before he could even start protesting, a worried voice talked calmly to him. 

“Bucky, are you okay?” 

Immediately he recognized Steve's voice and felt a heavy stone fall off his shoulders. With a low mumble, Bucky answered Steve.

“I’m okay” 

He could feel Steve’s warm breath on his face as he blew out a relieved gasp and nodded deeply. 

“I’m glad to hear that, what happened?” 

Bucky tried to pull his arm up, but as he started moved his shoulder to the side, a streak of immense pain spread through his body, and he immediately stopped moving. Steve understood as he saw Bucky make an awful grimace and instantly gave Bucky more room in his arms. 

“It’s alright. For now, we just need to get you home, okay?” 

Bucky nodded and rested his head against Steve’s chest as he walked them home to their apartment. 

Back home, Steve walked over to the three-man large sofa and laid Bucky onto it.

“I go grab the first aid kit, you just lay here and wait okay?” 

Before Bucky even could response, Steve was already in the next room searching and moving around stuff to find it. Bucky, who sat up, leaned back and bumped his head down into the soft pillows. He still felt weird, but after Steve had gotten to him, things felt a bit better.

He could sense something wasn’t okay inside, but he didn’t exactly know what - besides the blood lost of course. He heard Steve come into the room again, rumbling and also dropping something on the floor. He placed it all on the smaller glass tablet that was opposite the sofa. He turned around and looked down at Bucky who had closed his eyes. Steve bent down and placed a hand over Bucky’s forehead.

“You feel warmer than usual” 

He ran his fingers down along Bucky’s face and brushed his thumb over the strong jawline. Slowly Bucky opened his eyes and met Steve’s with a shy smile. And then Bucky started talking and explaining what happened, and through it, all Steve’s eyes were locked onto his in an absorbing look.

When Bucky again was quiet, Steve got up and pulled out a bandage and scissors from the first aid kit. He sat down beside him again and talked calmly while cutting Bucky’s shirt up by his arm. 

“I wish I could have stopped them, that I could have saved you all of this... I...”

Steve looked down and felt Bucky eyes lay upon him. 

“Don’t blame yourself for this, I can protect myself”

Steve turned his head and looked back up at him.

“Then what is this” 

Steve pulled away from the cutten shirt and exposed Bucky’s wound by the shoulder. Most of the blood had hardened, but due to Bucky's movements, fresh blood had started to run out the flesh wound again. Bucky looked away and mumbled.

“It’s not that bad.” 

He pressed his hand against Bucky’s arm and immediately Bucky turned his head, hissing at Steve. 

“Aw, fuck that hurt Steve!” 

“Language”

Bucky squeezed his eyes together and grumbled low as he let Steve win the argument. As Steve had finished the disinfection of the wound and bandaging of Bucky’s shoulder, they both decided it would be best to get some sleep.

The sun had started to set as Bucky glanced out the small window in the bathroom. He looked back in the mirror, but couldn’t clearly see himself. His eyesight had begun to blur again, so he started rubbing them hard while trying to make it stop. 

He heard Steve call and decided to turn around, pulling at the door to come out, when suddenly his legs gave up, he lost his balance and fell onto the floor. The sudden fall had pushed all air out of his lungs, and seconds after, he gasped deeply, but at that point, it didn’t get better. He started sweating and head spinning like crazy.   
What was going on? Bucky desperately tried to call Steve, but all that came out his throat was a quiet whine.

Feeling unable to move his own legs and hips, he didn’t expect a sudden throbbing feeling spread throughout his body and making it even harder for him to move. Bucky growled in frustration and pushed himself up with his metal arm. Before he could reach the door, Steve had open it and had rushed down to help him. 

“What’s going on Bucky, are you okay?”

Steve started to pull Bucky up by his metal arm and taking it over his own shoulder, while he grabbed Bucky at his hipbone to support him better. Bucky unintentionally let out a soft cry by Steve’s leg suddenly touching his abdomen in the movement. Quite surprised, Steve looked at Bucky’s flustered face and inspected his body for others wounds, but then stopped by the bulge between his legs. 

“...B...Bucky, what have they done with you?” 

Embarrassed by the situation, Bucky looked away hiding his face and letting Steve answer the question on his own. 

“Okay... breath Bucky... I don’t really know what’s going on, but you need rest. Before I take you in the bedroom, is there anything you need?” 

Bucky mumbled in a low voice, taking all energy to say some simple words.

“T.. the.. Medicin..” 

He breathed out hard, pulling himself up into Steve’s arms and trying his best to take the sudden pain wave through his body. It made him pant deeply, the pain and weird heat in his body mixed together and simultaneously spreading through his body; it was too overwhelming for Bucky to handle at once. 

Suddenly seeing him like that, all flustered, weak and a panting mess, Steve almost couldn’t restrain himself. He couldn’t stop himself from wanting to push down Bucky, taking him right here and now. Steve couldn’t believe his own willpower was this low against Bucky, but he had to push his own desires away and take care of his partner. 

Restraining himself and picking Bucky up, he walks into the bedroom and let himself cool down a bit. He carefully laid Bucky down on their double bed but had to bite his lower lip hard. Bucky had whined at the loss of Steve holding him, and with a feverish look, the other had glanced up at him, making a shiver run down his spine. 

His wanting calls went straight to Steve dick, making it even harder for him, so he had to look away. It was almost unbearable seeing Bucky like this, so arousing and seductive. Steve again had to swallow his own desires in a hard gulp. 

Bucky suddenly grabbed him by the shirt, pulling him down into his arms and hugging him tightly. He noticed the warm body heat coming from Bucky and wondered what made him sweat and pant so much. It hadn’t been abnormal for Bucky to be shot, mainly it was rare due to his level, but once or twice it happened, so Steve always made sure the aid kit was easy to find in their apartment. It could explain why his body was so warm, maybe he had a fever? 

But that also seemed odd, considering the way he acted. Looking back, Steve randomly remembered a night Bucky suddenly came through their window, bleeding all over the floor and falling onto the floor. It had been one hell of a night, fixing his wounds and cleaning up their apartment from the blood. He remembered how warm and sweaty Bucky had been the following days, his blood loss giving him a high fever. But at that time Bucky wasn't like this, didn't act like this and it made Steve wonder a whole lot. 

Now, however, it was kinda overwhelming and one hell of a mouthful having a full grown man looking so amatory and impassioned at Steve, wanting nothing more than pleasure from him.   
Steve couldn’t really set any words on it, he just wanted to help his best friend, to be there for him and somehow get over this... Heat..? together. 

In the tighter-coming hug, Steve was surprisingly met with a hard cock grinding against his thigh. The friction making it hard for Steve to think, and he had to push himself out of Bucky’s arms to focus again. He had to do something, as things went right now, Bucky would only get worse and would be up hurting himself. 

“Okay... ehm... Bucky, wait here just a second, I will go grab the medicine, okay?” 

Steve held out his hands, almost like he tried to stop Bucky from coming closer, but it was mostly for himself since he doubted that he actually could restrain himself another time if Bucky came closer. Feeling a bit abandoned laying alone in the bed, Bucky nodded and letting Steve know that it was okay. Thankful Steve turned around and ran straight for the bathroom. He ripped open the cupboard door beside the sink and started scrabbling around the stuff inside to find the medicine. There it was! Steve grabbed it and ran back into the bedroom. 

Bucky rumbled around on the bed, pulled at his cloth and letting out small whines of frustration. Steve dropped the medicine at the sight and was there at once, sitting beside Bucky and pulling him close.

“Are you okay Bucky?”

Bucky looked fervent up, his eyes glowing, but still seeming so distant. 

“...I... It... hurts... s...so...much...”   
He let out a cry from the throbbing feeling hitting him between his legs. There was something completely new building up inside Bucky, something so different yet familiar. 

“You mean that that hurts?” 

A bit frustrated Bucky pushed him away, not feeling wanted from Steve, but gasped as Steve’s hands slid up his thighs. 

“..do..something… p..please..”

Steve nodded and pulled himself up to Bucky. He leaned down and eagerly kissed Bucky who desire filled opened his mouth and let their lungs slide together. Bucky moaned into their kiss, enjoying the sensation, almost melting underneath Steve. Breaking their kiss and pulling up Bucky’s shirt, he tossed it off and placed some wet kisses over Bucky’s chest. 

He whined at the sudden lost off lips, arching his back up, but then moaned at the feeling of Steve’s lips pinching his right nipple. Steve slid his fingers up Bucky’s side and brushed his thumb over the other nipple, teasing it and catching another incensed moan leaving from his partner's lips. 

Bucky gripped Steve at the shoulder, pulling him up and crashing their lips together in a rousing kiss. Their tongues clashed in dominance against each other, but Bucky willingly spread his legs open for him and let Steve take the lead. 

Bucky felt a little voice talk to him. It called out of him, demanding him to submit to this feeling, and to let his deepest desires run free. The dizzy feeling in his head had only gotten worse, and for Bucky it seemed so enticing to let the voice demand him. To let it take over, but somehow he couldn’t. The reflecting sides in his head were fighting eagerly to win and all Bucky did was watching them from far. But then there was that voice, right beside him and not far away like the others. It felt so warm against his skin, filling his body with a craving he didn’t knew he had and making him want to fulfill every need of his partner. 

Steve broke their kiss, guiding his hips in between Bucky’s legs and then nuzzling his head in Bucky’s shoulder, biting down and letting his teeth sink into the flesh, well knowing that a bit pain turned on his partner. Bucky arched his hips at the sudden bite, grabbing Steve’s neck and feeling the waves of pleasure run through his body.   
.   
“..S..Steve..”

He moaned into his ear, making Steve’s groin jump by the lusty voice. He groaned back, pulling at bit off Bucky to look at the other man. His face was in a dark red shade, clearing showing Steve that he was feeling good, but there was still something bothering him. The feverish look seeming so different for Steve. 

What was going on with him? Was he really that pent up, totally ignoring his own injuries and letting Steve have his way with him.   
That was so unlike him..? 

He couldn’t knock it out of his head, but then Steve hit the wall of realisation. The medicine. The goddam medicine Bucky had been taking for almost a year. Was that a side effect from not taking the pills? Steve’s thoughts were stopped as a loud, pain-filled cry escaped Bucky’s throat. 

“Bucky, you need the medicine” 

Steve started to push himself off the bed, but Bucky rapid pulled him back with his metal arm.

“No! I want this” 

He panted out the words, looking eager at his partner and wanting him more than everything. He felt so sweltering, so weird and it was unbearable. He couldn’t believe his own body, craving so much that it just didn’t seem right. The little voice kept calling in his mind, wanting to be claimed and little by little Bucky started to subject to it. 

He looked at him with a wry smile and Bucky could see the worry in his eyes. He grabbed Steve’s hand and placed it between his legs. 

“I need you... Please...”

He looked away, kinda embarrassed by his own words and making a small smile spread across Steve’s face. 

“Bucky..”

His voice was ragged in a tone of devotion - he’s was weak when it came to his partner. Resolute Steve started opening Bucky’ pants, slowly pulling them off and Bucky was left in his trunks. Rubbing his hand over Bucky’s half hard cock, he could feel the precum leaking out through them. 

He bowed down, nipping at the edge of the underwear with his lips and then pulling them off. Bucky moaned at the sudden touch of coldness around his member as it sprung up, freed from the trunks. 

A bit teasing he trailed his fingers up Bucky’s inner thighs making the other gasp needy. He could feel Bucky buckle his hips at his touch and placed a hand on his partner's hips to hold him steady. He slid his fingers up the shaft, running his thumb over the slit and feeling the pre-cum leaking out. He leaned down taking the tip inside his mouth, trailing his tongue around it and tasting the bitter-salty pre-cum. He then felt Bucky press his hips eagerly against his mouth, wanting more of the things Steve could do with his tongue. 

He groaned at that, knowing his partner wanted this; wanted him. 

Bucky laid his arm over his head, panting out small whines and having his metal fingers between Steve’s hair, pulling at it when he hit a one of Bucky’s sensitive spots. Steve started at a slow pace, bubbling his head up and down a few times before building up the more momentum and taking Bucky further inside.

He could hear Bucky already being close, his voice in short gasps of air and sudden moans in between. Pre-cum was leaking non-stop out of him and Steve swallowed it greedily, wanting his partner to feeling the tightness of his mouth as he swallowed it. 

Bucky fast picked up Steve’s pace, rocking his hips inside Steve’s mouth, and loving the hot and wet sensation of it. Steve had at that time placed both hands on Bucky’s hips, focusing on the other’s close climax and then pushed himself all the way in, deep throating the other. Bucky screamed out at the sudden overwhelming tightness and it pushed him over the edge, splattering out loads of cum inside Steve’s mouth. 

“Ahh.. god Steve..!”

Bucky gasped, feeling Steve swallowing his cum and then pulling away, licking his lips. 

“You feel better now?”

But Steve’s question was given away as he heard the other pant deeply and call out for him. Steve was a bit shocked, he had to admit since he didn’t expect that reaction, but he grabbed around Bucky’s cock, making it jump in surprise.

“You need a round two?”

Steve didn’t expect Bucky to respond since he clearly could see that he did, but Bucky mewled at the question, spreading his legs wide and speaking in a low, demanding voice. 

“Take me..” 

His voice was also begging, needing and it sent a shiver through Steve’s body. He had never seen him like this, so wanting and hot... 

He crawled over him, kissing Bucky eagerly and brushing his fingers through his lover’s brown, thick hair. He could feel Bucky’s hardness against his own and himself, his dick throbbing hard in his pants, also wanting a release soon. 

He then felt Bucky grind against him, his heated pants filling Steve’s ears and making his dick jump. He felt his own desire grow, how much he wanted to take Bucky and pound hard into that beautiful ass. He pulled Bucky up, making him sit on his lap and facing him. He slid his fingers down Bucky’s spine, making him roll his hips and push out his ass out as an invitation for Steve. He grabbed the ass, groping it and sliding a finger to Bucky’s entrance. 

The other moaned at the sensation, feeling the finger move circle like around his hole and teasing it. He leaned himself on Steve’s chest, taking both arms around Steve’s neck and using him as support for his trembling legs. 

He then felt Steve push the finger in and cried out at the feeling. He started stretching out Bucky’s hole and added other as he could feel him relax and not twitch so much around the finger. As the third finger was added, Steve pushed deeper inside, making his partner pant and bite his lower lip. Steve then found it. He could clearly hear it on his lover’s cry filled moans. He started pressing the spot over and over until Bucky couldn’t contain his voice anymore. 

“Ahh…Right... There..!” 

Steve could feel Bucky being close, clenching hard around his fingers and rocking his hips in rhythm with Steve’s fingers. Steve growled as he felt a hand on his erect cock. He felt Bucky’s hand rub against his dick and simultaneously keeping up the same rhythm as his hips. It drove Steve crazy feeling Bucky move like that and it made him pound his fingers even deeper inside Bucky, making him scream and bite down Steve’s neck. 

Steve then suddenly decided to pull out, giving his partner a bit of space to cool down, but Bucky didn’t want any of that. He was off Steve’s lap in a second, then down between his legs and opening the zipper with his teeth, letting Steve’s cock spring free. He hummed happily at the sight, seeing it all hard and leaking pre-cum. He wanted to deep throat Steve like he did, so Bucky opened his mouth wide, taking it all at once, but had to pull away coughing. 

“Relax, we have time..”

Steve's voice was calm, but Bucky didn’t seem to listen and took his cock again all at once, calming his throat and sulking hard down on it. Steve bent forward at the sudden tightness and gripped Bucky’s hair hard, letting out a deep growl that made Bucky whimper with submission. Having Bucky deep throating him, Steve couldn’t avoid seeing that sweet ass right in front of him. He licked his fingers thoroughly and then pushed them inside Bucky’s ass. 

The other cried out, the vibrations from his throat going straight to Steve dick and making him growl deeply. Steve started thrusting his hips hard in Bucky’s mouth, making the other cough, but he accepted the sudden change of pace and relaxed his throat. 

Bucky leaked precum all over and had to pull himself together as he heard Steve heated voice called out his name. Having Steve so deep inside his mouth, Bucky couldn’t else than submit to it, feeling so underwhelmed and also simulated by Steve’s fingers scissoring inside of him. It made it hard for Bucky to wait, but he pulled himself together, wanting Steve to cum first and please him.

Steve suddenly grabbing the back of Bucky’s head and then pushed him all the way till his nose touched Steve’s stomach. And then he felt it. Steve warm cum shooting out all over inside Bucky’s mouth and filling him. 

He swallowed it all, licking every last drop of it. Steve was there for him, pumping Bucky’s cock a few times and then he also came, spreading the cum all over his stomach and Steve’s legs. He pulled away, still feeling dizzy like in the beginning and then looked down at himself. He was a mess and his cock... It was still erect. He could have cried out just by that. What was going on.. this wasn’t normal and Steve would have agreed with him. He turned around, not wanting Steve to see him like this anymore. He felt so ashamed of himself, yet subjecting to the little voice and making his mind dizzy again…

Bucky felt a pair of arms hug him from behind and he leaned back into the touch. Steve looked down at him, smiling and kissed him on his forehand, thinking they were okay again. Bucky mewled at the touch at his skin and yet again felt his needs take over. Steve had noticed his erect member and was a bit surprised at the sight, but wasn’t unpleased by it. He started stroking it, but Bucky stopped him, turning his head towards Steve’s ears and whispering. 

“I want you to fuck me, Steve...” 

His voice was hoarse, but his words strong and willing.   
Steve couldn’t but just obey those words. He looked at Bucky and then leaned down for a kiss. He melted by the touch of their tongues together and pulled himself up to get more of it. Steve noticed and deepened their kiss, making Bucky moan into it and arch his back.

As he felt his own member grow hard again, he pushed Bucky down on his back and him understanding immediately, he spread his legs open for Steve. He pulled his shirt off, tossed over in the corner, and making Bucky mewl at the view. Steve was between his legs faster than Bucky expected, but faster was better than slow right now. 

He immediately felt Steve press against   
his twitching hole and swung his legs up to have a better position. Steve took his legs and placed them over his neck, adjusting himself again and then pushed inside the twitching hole. They both gasped deeply; Steve feeling the other clench hard around him and Bucky feeling fully stretched out. 

Steve then started at a slow pace, placing a hand on each side of Bucky’s head and getting a better position to move his hips more freely. Bucky moaned at the feeling of Steve moving inside of him and slowly moved his hips against Steve’s thrusts. 

“God.. you feel so tight..”

Steve’s voice was heavy, his breathing loud and it made Bucky twitch even more. He rocked his hips harder, forcing himself further inside Bucky and making the other grip him hard at his shoulders. He moaned out his name, desperately, and when their eyes met, Steve saw Bucky flustered and heated face. God, he looked so damn beautiful, Steve couldn’t bear it anymore.

He fucked Bucky with hard and fast rhythm, making the other scream his name and whine underneath him. He again looked down at Bucky, sweat running down his face and heated growls leaving his throat. 

“You... look... so... goddam... beautiful...” 

Steve words were pressed out between each hard thrust, making sure Bucky heard each word clearly. With half opened eyes and constantly moaning, Bucky looked up at Steve trying to say something. Steve leaned down, continuing his hard pounding and hearing his lover’s words.

“You..are..so..good.. to.. me… I.. can’t... Ahh” 

His voice broke as Steve had found Bucky’s sweet spot. Feeling himself being close, he thrust even harder to reach all the way inside. Bucky moans went from loud to high screams of satisfaction, that at last pushed Steve over the edge, making him take one hard thrust and send hard lots of cum inside Bucky. Bucky screamed at the feeling of being filled and came himself, splattering all over and even hitting his own cheek. 

They panted for a whole minute, riding out their orgasm while looking at each other. 

Steve then pulled out, Bucky whining at the loss of him inside, but finally felt his body cool down and relax. His body felt sated, his needs being fulfilled by his partner. The little voice seemed distant now, not being beside him and then finally he could feel his mind being clear again. 

Bucky closed his eyes, feeling his body being exhausted and tired after all the days of stress and frustration. Steve brushed some of Bucky’s hair away and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek.

“Goodnight..”

Bucky then felt a blanket being pulled over his body, and a pair of strong arms pulling him in close. He nuzzled himself into Steve’s arms, finally feeling the tiredness come over him. He soon drove off, sleeping heavy and happy in Steve’s arms.


	3. Confusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was written because of Readaholic214969 request and it was quite fun writing even though it took a little longer than I expected xD I hope you enjoy the chapter :D

It was dark as Steve opened his eyes and looked up at the grey coloured ceiling. He tapped at his left side expecting to bump into something, but he didn’t and turned his head to look. Bucky wasn’t beside him and it made him sit up to look around in their bedroom, which he did so, nervously. He noticed the light under the bathroom door that shined across the floor. Steve got up from the bed and walked across the room to grab the handle, opening the door. Inside Bucky stood by the mirror, fixing his shoulder bandages and then turning his head towards Steve. 

“Having nightmares again?” 

Bucky nodded slightly and breathed out a tired sigh. 

“Yeah. It was also hard to sleep with my shoulder aching every time I moved.”

Steve leaned against the doorframe, resting his shoulder against it while his arms were crossed over each other. He looked over to Bucky, searching for a sign that he could give him the answer he was looking for. 

“But are you otherwise feeling better elsewhere? I mean… a few hours ago you were...”

Bucky looked down, a bit embarrassed, but still feeling himself. 

“I don’t quite remember what happened, you know? But the pain in my back is pretty much telling me what happened.” 

“You were... quite…” 

Steve scratched the back of his head, trying to find the right words to say and felt his face heat up by the thought of Bucky.

“Well, I was wondering what made your body act like it did. I mean, that wasn’t normal. I mean, I just never have seen you act all craving and needy like that. Or at least not so much. You really surprised me, and it made me wonder what they did to you?”

He met Bucky’s eyes. He looked slightly choked and flustered, but still with a hint of seriousness in them as he was looking at Steve. Bucky broke their eye contact and looked down into the palm of his hands, pondering about the things while stretching his fingers and then clenching them into a fist. In a low voice, he spoke to Steve, not lifting his face to look at the other.

“It was because of the blue bullet that Hydra shot me with...” He sighed. 

“The ‘blue bullet?’” Steve's voice had a slither of confusion in it, but he nodded and asked Bucky to continue.

“Back when I was with them when they were trying to recreate the super-soldier serum, Zola thought that he could genetically engineer a micro-organism that could produce it but it didn’t work. It was still useful though, so they started experimenting on soldiers, trying to figure out what the effects were and how they could use it. It had different results on the soldiers than expect so Zola put their new ‘serum’ on ice until they had the technology to explore it further.

I don’t know much else about it, I only got a short glance at some files. Even then, the memory wipes haven’t helped. I guess that they must have figured out how to weaponize it.”

Bucky looked up from his hands and turned his attention to Steve. 

"But I think the way I acted was a combination of the bullet and because I didn’t take the medicine," Bucky said. 

"You kept asking for the medicine and I- I just forgot all about it. I mean, it's my fault and I'm sorry for that Bucky." Steve expressed but felt bad for doing so. He looked away and breathed out a heavy sigh. 

"Don't blame yourself, Steve. It was my fault for being so naive in the first place by not being as aware of my surroundings as I was trained to be." Bucky said smiling to the other. 

He bent down and picked up his shirt from the floor. Bucky pulled the red long-sleeved shirt over his head, taking on the shirt with a bit of trouble. The shoulder was still in a state of numbness and pain, making him be extra careful while pulling his arm through the shirt’s armhole. He turned to the other, grabbing the scissor and bandage on the table, and then walked over to Steve. He didn't hesitate to pull Steve close and nuzzled his head into the other's shoulder, inhaling the scent. 

"You seriously worry too much Steve, I'm fine and that's all your doing," Bucky said while placing a soft kiss on the other's neck. Steve appreciated the little affection from Bucky and hugged him tightly, taking the other by surprise. 

"But there is still something I wonder about - the medicine. Why are you taking it? What’s it for?" Steve asked, bringing some distance between them. 

Bucky looked down, feeling upset with himself. It hadn't been easy the past months. He hadn't told Steve anything about how he had felt the past months. How his body was changing and how much of a burden it actually was on Bucky's shoulders. He didn't want to load all his problems onto Steve, he didn't want to be a big burden and therefore he had kept it all to himself. He didn't want to feel this weak, so vulnerable and what would Steve think? He knew his friend, but Bucky had changed in some ways, would Steve even like him anymore? Yes, of course, he would accept him, but... what if not? 

Bucky swallowed hard. 

But he couldn't lie anymore, not to himself and, most of all. Not to Steve. He had to tell the other no matter what the later consequences where. 

"Well, I-I am taking medicine because my body’s hormones are imbalanced and unstable at times. All the Hydra experimenting has affected my brain chemistry, so there’s no way of regulating the overproduction of GnRH, which is why I need the medicine. I can't really control my behaviour at times... I know that it -"

"So that was why you kept asking for it?" Steve interrupted with a mild voice. 

Bucky looked up, eyes wide and focused on Steve's face.

"You’re not… I mean…"

Wasn't he weird out by knowing this? Bucky scratched the back of his head, feeling a frustrated laugh bobble up his throat. 

"Bucky...? What's wrong?" Steve asked.

Bucky sank down on his knees, head hanging downwards and the fingers tugging hard in the dark hair. 

He let out a frustrated shout. 

Steve stood there - shocked - looking at Bucky, who was kneeling on the floor screaming. He had no words to say. Only feeling confused and a mix of fear spread through his body. 

What was going on? Steve concern thought. He bowed down, slowly coming closer to the other and then laid his warm hand on Bucky's back. His body jumped a little at the sudden touch.

"What's going on Buck" Steve's voice was soothing, triggering something inside Bucky. 

He wanted to run. Run as fast as he could, far away from where he could hide from all of this, but Bucky knew for sure - this time there was no escaping route. 

He could almost laugh at himself, thinking deeply and considering the situation: this was nothing, but why did his body react like this? why was his mind so feared, so afraid of this? He could rip his hair out just knowing how frustrating this was. For so long this feeling had nagged inside of him: this fear. How could Steve be so calm, where did it come from? The frustrating kept sizzling inside, filling him up completely. 

"Bucky?" Steve tugged at the red shirt as the other just kept staring at the floor. 

"Hey!" He yelled into Bucky's ear panic-stricken, but the other didn't even flinch at the call. Steve turned him around and started shaking Bucky roughly while calling for his name. 

He felt Bucky move in his hands and stopped immediately, looking at him and trying to find an indication. The other starred back at him, but there was no sense of life in his eyes. They were just staring at him, dull-like and empty. 

He leaned in taking Bucky's face between his hands and pressed his forehead against Bucky's. 

"Can you hear me?" Steve asked in a cautious tone, trying to reach the other. 

His breathing was deliberately against Steve's skin, the warm breathing was one securement for him. 

"Bucky I'm here for you," Steve said with a calm voice while closing his eyes. 

\---

Darkness surrounded him and filled up the mind with emptiness. He was sitting alone in the shadowy landscape, vacantly staring into nothingness. Bucky heard a low voice calling in the distant, catching his attention and making him rise from the ground. 

The voice was familiar, reminding him of his childhood and bringing up a sort of longing feeling inside of him.

He looked across the area, but there was no one. Did his mind play games with him? He was all alone, but why could he hear a voice calling? 

"Bucky" the voice was richer in its tone.

"Steve?" he breathed out, recognized the voice. 

"Steve!" Harrowing he screamed the name, calling for the other so despairing. 

A light beamed down from above, separating the dark sky and shining down on him. He could feel the warmth on his skin and the darkness disappearing around him. He raised his head while having his eyes closed. This feeling. It felt so good, it made all the thoughts fade away in a solid second. He spread out his arms and let the feeling completely consume him. He didn't want anything else than this and it made his mind dizzy, almost flying in delight. 

And the voice was there again, so close to him and sounding so real. The bright light was slowly fading away and just barely he could feel something warm press against his forehead. Carefully and a bit fatigued he opened his eyes again. 

"Bucky," Steve's said, the voice filled with relief. 

Bucky immediately recognized it, the deep voice, the blissful face and the musky scent. It all belonged to Steve. His best friend, his lover and the only person Bucky would ever trust with his own life. 

Steve moved closer to the other, looking deeply into his eyes and seeing them lighten up by the attention. He was back Steve through and let a small smile spread across his face. Bucky noticed and leaned his head to the side, questioning the sudden reaction from the other. 

Steve embraced the wondering other and clung his arms tightly around Bucky. 

"I'm just happy that's all". Bucky mummed at the answer but didn't question it any further. He only enjoyed the affection from Steve and liked the warmth against his body. It felt so familiar Bucky thought and remembered back. The light, the warm light shining down on him; it felt the same, even the strong arms around him felt the same. He nuzzled his head into Steve's chest, not wanting the other to let go. Steve sat down and leaned up against the wall, still having Bucky in his embrace. 

"Bucky?" Steve's voice had a serious tone to it, making the other twitch in response. 

He closed his eyes and answered the other. 

"Yes?" 

"If you don't want to talk about it that's fine. I just need to be sure that you're okay." 

Bucky swallowed the gulp in his throat. He titled his head up at Steve, their eyes meeting in a soft look. 

"Steve, I want you to know," Bucky said, pulling away from the other.

He nodded and looked down, not wanting to stare at the other while he talked and giving him some space. 

"I have for a long time felt so uncomfortable in my own body, all kind of thoughts running through my mind and I-I just don't recognize myself at times. I don't want to be a burden on your shoulders, Steve..."

They both looked at each other, but Bucky could see the pity in Steve's eyes. 

"I didn't know you had all those feelings conflicting inside of you."

"No, that's okay. You know, it's my own damn fault." Bucky said in a self-hatred voice. 

"Bucky stop blaming yourself all the time!" Steve grabbed his wrists and pulled Bucky up from the ground while getting up himself.

"Listen to me! I know this is a hard time for you, but no one has ever said that you have to go through this alone. Bucky I'm here for you, so, please! Please let me help you." Steve said and let out several deep breaths. 

Bucky whinged by the unintentional hard grip around his wrists that Steve had coursed. He free himself easily from the grip and put some distance between them. 

"Steve listen I -" was all Bucky could say before Steve interrupted him.

"No! You listen to me now. Stop worrying and let me take the burden, I don't want to see you suffer anymore, so stop!" 

Out of nowhere, Bucky slammed his fist down into the dressing tablet. 

"Stop fucking with me!" Bucky screamed at the other. 

Steve looked shocked at him, fully taken by surprise. He raised his arms up, slowly moving towards Bucky.

"Okay, relax Bucky." 

The other briefly calming down, Steve laid his hand upon Bucky's shoulder and looked at him with a reassuring face. 

"So what is it you want? Is there anything I can do, even if it is just a little thing, I want to help you Bucky." 

He looked down, breathing out a heavy sigh. 

"You have done more than enough Steve. I just feel so messed up inside I don't know where to put it anymore, but you know. This whole year being with you again, I feel like something has changed. I still don't completely know how to describe it, but I know it's good. The past days have been a whole lot of a mess, but I just want to lay that behind me. I hope you understand..." 

Steve pulled him into a tight hug, whispering into Bucky's ear. 

"You should have told me from the beginning. I will always be here for you no matter what you decide to do, alright?" 

He nodded and nuzzled his head into Steve's shoulder, inhaling the musky scent. 

Steve brushed his fingers through the thick dark hair and enjoyed the soft feeling against his fingers. 

"You know, we properly should go back and get some sleep before the sun rises," Steve said in a mild tone, picking up the other as he agreed. 

Inside the bedroom, Steve walked across the wooden floor and laid down on the bed, carefully since Bucky still was in his arms. He leaned back, resting his head on the soft pillow and letting Bucky glide down by to his left side. He pulled the white blanket over them, having his arm underneath Bucky's upper body and holding him close against his warm body. 

Bucky rested his head on Steve's chest and liked the close feeling he was sharing with his lover. This was exactly what he wanted even if it was something so simple. Just the thought of it that made him happy, and the feeling making him forget all the bad things that had happened. It still felt unreal at some point, but he just wanted to drown in the things Steve did to him. 

"Steve...?" 

"Yes, Bucky?"

"You remember that time when we still were kids and I made you crawl up that tree even though you were scared? I still clearly remember the words you said to me while crawling up the tree branches.

"Buck?" you asked me, "Are you still down there?" and I told you "yes, I am". You then suddenly thanked me, saying you were grateful to have a friend like me and I answered:" Of course I'm your friend Steve," and then you said, "Bucky I know I'm not the strongest or the smartest, but I will always be there for you." 

"Those simple words meant a lot to me at that time and they still do Steve," Bucky said with a soft voice. 

Steve was silent in the dark while holding his partner in his arms. He looked up at the grey ceiling and spoke low.

"I don't even remember... I mean, I wish I -" His words stopped., his memories suddenly coming back. 

"Steve?" Bucky asked, wondering why the other had stopped talking.

"I remember now," Steve said, a small laugh bubbling up his throat and escaping his lips. 

"I remember how you tried to convince me to pick those purple plums and later I even got stomach pains because we ate so many of them," Steve laughed while smiling brightly at the memory of the two of them. Bucky chuckled at the thought of Steve which caught the others attention. 

Steve pushed a bit to the other and then leaned down stealing a small kiss from Bucky's lips. 

Not wanting him to stop, Bucky pulled him back and caught his lips in a rousing kiss. They shared a relished kiss, their tongues sliding together and drawing out an ardent moan from Bucky's lips. 

Steve slid his hand up Bucky's chest till he reached the neck and brushed his thumb over the strong jaw line. Their lips separated and Steve inhaled the salty and strong scent from Bucky's body. He leaned back onto the pillow, closing his eyes and feeling Bucky nuzzle against him.

"Goodnight jerk"

"Goodnight punk"

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! :D  
> I'm still kinda new with writing and such, so if you have any questions regarding the story or something else, please feel free to ask me anytime. :D  
> If you're interested, I also have a Tumblr where I post Stucky related things. My account: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/stevexbucky1 
> 
> Ashitaka (*`O´*)


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